Doctor, Doctor!

Bending over into the trashcan this morning to retrieve my wallet (oops, dropsies) I caught a whiff of something lovely, probably dead mice. I jumped back and - whack- hit my head on the giant lid. Our county-issued trash can is almost as tall as I am and the lid is like a car hood. In any case, after whacking my head I stumbled back and hit my elbow on the frame of my car. This, I'm sure, was a sight to behold to anyone happening to catch the show at 7:30 this morning. I have discovered that having weakness in my legs has caused me to become much more clumsy than usual. So now instead of just dealing with the usual spinal problems and joint pains, I'm usually walking around with a lump, bruises and large cuts, too. It looks like someone has been pushing me down the stairs every day.



To balance this, I started seeing a chiropractor. In addition to not being able to tolerate the pain anymore, I got sick and tired of falling over. The last two weeks I've been going to the doctor three times a week and I have to say, it's been amazing. No crack, crack, crack here; it's electric stimulation around the spinal chord followed by gentle manipulation and stretching of the lower back. Very slight, very gentle, very, very healing. Granted, I was not exactly the poster child for gracefulness this morning, but in general I feel like it's been helping. What more can I ask for?



Something happened to me about the second day I was at the chiropractor, laying on the table with the electric stim and heating pads and a soundtrack of calming music lulling me into a healing slumber. I realized that it wasn't just the action of going there and getting adjusted but the feeling of being healed that was helping me, the feeling I have that someone actually cares if I get better.

I don't know if other people's spouses or significant others get fed up with their illness, but mine does. That sounds pretty mean, I guess. Sometimes I think he's wondering what he's done wrong to end up with this gimpy, grumpy, dirty woman. There are times when I am impatient with myself for being slow or dragging because I'm in pain, so I'm not sure why I expect infinite patience from someone else; maybe it is asking too much. But I do wonder if other people have spouses who actually empathize with them when they are hurting rather than feeling burdened or let down. What is that like?